Sky writing, please

"Snip"

In a nanosecond I knew I made a mistake. Bangs. I haven't had serious bangs in at least seven years, but utter hair frustration will make one do stupid things. So last weekend I told my hairdresser to give me a few bangs. At first she styled them at an angle, and by angle, I mean they were obstructing the view from my left eye. Not exactly practical for someone who spends all day reading and writing. So she cut them a little shorter, styled my hair and I decided, well, maybe they looked OK.

Of course once it came time for me to style them myself, all bets were off. I've received several compliments from friends and co-workers, including at least three people who told me I looked younger. Surely, that can't be bad.

I'm still not sold, though. Maybe a few more days with my new do will convince me. If not, I guess I'll start the growing out process.

It seems I've come out of every decision lately completely second-guessing myself. I decided last week to accept a new position within my company. Essentially I'll be our Web editor (exact title yet to be determined). We are launching a new Web site in the coming months and expanding our e-mail products. We're also launching a statewide business magazine, which will most certainly have a Web site component. This is also a brand new position for my company, so I'll really be breaking ground.

I want to broaden my skills and make myself a more marketable journalist. After all, so much of our industry is headed down the digital path. And I have a real interest in learning some new technology -- video streaming, podcasts, etc. Plus, I can make a mark for myself. I'll have a chance to build a new position and shape the future of the company. Big stuff.

I gave the position a great deal of thought. I prayed about it and no negatives came to light. I couldn't think of a reason not to take the job. But now ... I think I'm just doubting myself and my abilities. New ventures are scary. And yet, I can't help but wonder if I made the right decision.

I pray about these things and yet don't always hear a clear answer from God. (Skywriting would be so very helpful, Lord.) Or maybe I'm just running at such a fast pace, God is talking and I don't hear Him. Or maybe he needs more time to decide, and I'm working on my own timeline, which is NOW.

Several months into my 30s, I find myself at a crossroads. I'm making a job change, I'm teaching at the college level (could that lead to a career change down the road?) and I'm pondering my future with the Society of Professional Journalists board of directors (my term as regional director ends next fall and I don't intend to run again). Should I pursue higher office? It's a four-year commitment and a heady responsibility.

The next three to four years also seem to be the critical time to decide whether to have children. This decision takes the prize for most complicated and difficult. If the answer is "start a family," major life changes have to happen and my career may have to take a backseat. If the answer is "don't start a family," will I wake up 20 years from now wishing I could look forward to grandchildren?

I've made a lot of important decisions in my life: moving to Texas, marrying Clint, pursuing a master's degree. And all these decisions enhanced my life in ways I can't even describe. I made those decisions and never looked back.

Yet those decisions came at different stages of my life and now it seems I'm faced with several important, life-changing decisions all at the same time. And yet, it's possible I'm just thinking too much. I'm spending too much time analyzing and maybe the best decision is "just do it." The trick, though, is figuring out what "it" is.

Week in Review

Whew! What a week!

Monday was a holiday, so in theory it should have been a good week -- quick and painless. Instead, it was exhausting. Not to mention the week started on a sad note with the death of Steve Irwin, better known as the Crocodile Hunter.

I had several large projects at work and ran into some frustrating problems. By the time, Friday rolled around I was zapped.

And, with our busy schedules, we haven't done much to our house. While the upstairs is much better and certainly livable, the downstairs is still a mess. And Clint has a business trip this week so our progressed will be slowed.

The only saving grace -- the television is hooked up so I can escape reality for a few minutes a day.

The Donald in Chicago

CHICAGO -- Clint and I were addicted to the first season of "The Apprentice" with Donald Trump. The apprentice who was ultimately hired -- Bill Rancic -- opted to oversee Trump's latest project, the 78-story Trump International Hotel & Tower here in Chicago. Turns out it's under construction just down from my hotel.

The Windy City

CHICAGO -- Yesterday I arrived in Chicago for the Society of Professional Journalists Convention & National Journalism Conference. I always enjoy spending time in big cities--they have so much energy and life. I love the skyscapers and hustle and bustle.

It's been busy so far with workshops and board meetings but I took a few minutes this evening to walk on a couple streets near the hotel. I snapped a few photos I'm posting here -- enjoy!

The Money Pit, Part II

Last night while standing in line at Atlanta Bread Co., I noticed a young woman sitting at a table.

"Doesn't that girl work at Lowe's?" I said.

Clint looked at her. "You're right, I think she does," he said.

Clearly, I have been spending way too much time at Lowe's if I can recognize cashiers in a non-Lowe's setting. This can't be good.

We are still in full-blown renovations but starting to see progress. Almost the entire second floor is painted (except the room over the garage and the master bathroom). We're still in discussion about what to do with those. I've painted a ton of trim and door frames. Clint, who has boundless amounts of energy, will stay up into the wee hours painting the walls.

Today's chores include taking down doors for cleaning and painting and beginning the flooring process. We're hoping to have a significant amount of the second floor done by the end of the weekend. I certainly hope so - it will be nice to have some sense of normalcy.

Simple Pleasures

This morning I brewed coffee in my kitchen.

You're thinking, "OK, no big deal. People do that every morning." But for weeks I've felt homeless. Despite staying with family and friends who are like family, it's just not the same as having your own space. And since we closed on our house more than two weeks, it's been nothing but renovations. Even in my own home, I felt homeless.

Last night, I unpacked several boxes of kitchen items, filling cupboards and drawers with utensils, plates, glasses, cookware, sandwich baggies, dish towels -- the usual mix of kitchen items.

In one of the very last boxes, I found the coffee pot and the coffee grinder. So while the rest of the house still looks like a construction site, the kitchen is starting to look a little more normal. We even moved our patio furniture into the eating area so we would have a place to sit.

So, this morning (I took the day off from work), I sit at my patio table with my laptop on my lap and a view of the spacious backyard. The construction site is at my back and a steaming mug of coffee sits on the table and for a few moments, I'll pretend my house isn't a wreck and life is normal-- all this because this morning I brewed coffee in my kitchen.

The Money Pit, Part I

I have taken a break from the exhausting home renovations process to announce that we are officially living in our new home. I use the term "living" loosely.

We're really living in a construction site with a bed and some clothes. We closed on our house two weeks ago, and in that relatively short period of time, we have:
--Removed the popcorn ceilings (a messy undertaking that only should be done if you don't mind destroying everything).
--Removed ALL carpet and carpet padding (don't even get me started about what you'll find under your carpet pad).
--Removed all drywall from master bedroom. Yes, removed all drywall. It was the only way to remove the granite paint (think sandpaper attached to walls).
--Put in new drywall (sheetrock is heavy).
--Used a power drill. OK, Clint was experienced with the power drill, but this was my first foray into power tools.
--Wore a nail apron (another new experience for me, but I thought I looked cute - like Pamela Anderson when she was the Tool Time girl on Home Improvement)
--Cleaned the entire gross kitchen and put shelf paper in all cabinets.
--Painted pantry.
--Started priming ceilings and walls for paint.

We're making a little progress and falling into bed completely exhausted each night. Stay tuned ...