Good-bye, 2008

It seems at the end of each year, I pause and wonder just where the year went. They always seem to disappear so quickly. I feel that way again this year, but am actually relieved to bid farewell to 2008.

This year has been challenging to say the least. I think back a year ago and can hardly wrap my mind around all that has changed. This time last year I was hugely pregnant and we were excited about our baby girl who was to be born in early February.

We were blessed on Feb. 2 with a beautiful, healthy daughter. We are happy to have her in our lives, but the adjustment to parenthood was harder than I ever could have imagined.

I returned to work full time in April and was learning to juggle work and family on a new level. But I was happy to be working as so much of who I am has been wrapped up in my career. Even after having a baby, I knew I couldn't turn my back on my work.

So, my layoff in October and the resulting life changes rattled me in a way I'm not sure anyone could understand.

It's been a tough year and I'm ready to move past it. The year 2008 will always be special because of Katherine, but it is not exactly a year I would be eager to repeat.

I pray for a better 2009 and a wise spirit that can look back on these challenges, learn and grow from them and move to a new level of greatness.

Kate's first Christmas

For Christmas, Santa brought me a Flip Video Camera, an awesome little device that makes uploading videos to the Web super easy. Here we are playing around with the new device on Christmas morning (totally ignore my just-out-of-bed look and focus on that adorable baby).

Happy holidays!

Our babies: Mocha, Belle and Katherine.
And Katherine says, "Should I be on all fours for this photo?"

Fun at work

As I was cleaning out my 2008 calendar, I came across some notes I took during a presentation about having fun a work given by Mike Veeck, author of "Fun is Good" and part owner of the Charleston RiverDogs minor league baseball team.

Just thought I would share his tips about how to infuse the workplace with fun (which should be pretty easy for me these days since I work at home).

1. Hire passionate people.
2. Have fun - laughter improves everything.
3. Values (write down four one-word values for your company).
4. Teamwork - build a team you can be proud of.
5. Generosity of spirit - mentor someone.
6. Creativity (have creative meetings in the morning; but keep meetings to an hour or less).
7. Customer service (write your top 25 customers a hand-written note).
8. Give back to the community in which you live.

Additional tidbits of wisdom:
* People want to be empowered to make decisions.
* How we deal with success and failure on a day-to-day basis is the defining moment for how we handle business and people.
* How we approach change defines our business.
* The No. 1 employee morale gift: unexpected time off.

Moving beyond the dress designer

A recent article in Newsweek discussed how reporters were trying to draw comparisons between Jackie Kennedy Onassis and soon-to-be First Lady Michelle Obama. The article points out how different the two women really are and showcases the inane attempts by the media to connect the dots, particularly in terms of fashion.

Obama has pledged to focus on complex social issues, such as support for military families, once she gets to the White House. Still, most of her recent headlines have been about her clothes, such as the mixed reviews she drew for her election-night Narciso Rodriguez number.

Seriously? This woman has a master’s degree and a law career and we’re talking about her clothes? I have yet to read anything about Barack Obama’s ties or suit selections.

Let’s move beyond looking at women as little more than Barbie dolls. The First Lady will be representing one of the most powerful countries in the world as more than just a fashion accessory to the President. How about reviewing and critiquing her policies, thoughts and strategies rather than her choice of handbags and dresses?

Lessons from men

I know, I know, the title of this posting leaves you scratching your head. What could we possibly learn from men? (ha, ha to my male readers). Well, we moms could learn a couple techniques for squelching our mommy guilt.

If you've never experienced mommy guilt, then you a) Don't have children or b) Don't have children. At some point or another, all moms feel guilty about something - feeding Child a Happy Meal; putting Child in playpen or swing for the fourth time in one day; not reading enough to Child ... and the list goes on.

Here's a particularly interesting article from American Baby magazine targeted at new moms and how to cure five new mom guilty feelings. But what I found most interesting is the "Father Knows Best" tips.

We can learn a thing or two from dads about kicking the guilt habit. Granted, it's easier for them because they don't have the societal expectations that we moms do. If a man changes a diaper, he's a hero. But, for whatever the reason, fathers have got their thinking right. Here are three good manly lessons.

Dads don't try to do it all. "Men don't expect to work full time and be the primary caretaker to their kids, a great cook, sexy for their spouse, and a good friend," Rosenberg says. Yet women do.

Dads don't feel guilty about taking time for themselves. Does your husband think twice about heading out to the gym? Enough said.

Dads don't blame themselves for everything (er, anything). Your child didn't bite the other toddler at the playground because you didn't breastfeed him or you fed him too much sugar. Kids act out, and they get hurt...just because they're kids.

Excellent.

Green Office Blog

Last week I scored a new freelancing gig: updating a company blog about making your office more green. I'm posting twice a week and my first post goes up tomorrow. Check it out here. You also can be a fan of this blog on Facebook and follow updates on Twitter.

Over the last year, I've written several stories about the green movement, including stories about green building and profiles of businesses that are offering green products/services. It's become an interest of mine, so I'm looking forward to writing about how companies are going green.

One catch to the blog, it's technically based in San Diego so many of my postings should be related to San Diego. I love San Diego and wish the company that hired me would bring out for a meeting!

Check out the blog and follow me on Twitter and Facebook!

My first textbook

In July, I mentioned in this post that I had contributed a chapter to a textbook called "Understanding Media Convergence." Well, last week I received my copy in the mail. So exciting! Journalism students everywhere will be falling asleep to my words - what a thrill! You can read more about the book here.

MomMinute with ... ME

Hey, Check it out - I was profiled on The Organizing Mama blog as the MomMinute. While you're at it, nose around the Web site - lots of cool stuff there.

I say, whatever works

Plenty of businesses are offering specials related to Election Day. Check out this story about how offering freebies for voting is a violation of the law. As the story points out, "Leave it to the law to spoil all the fun."

Most businesses figured out a way to get around the law by offering general Election Day specials and not requiring people to actually show their "I Voted" sticker.

Truly, how many people are motivated solely to vote based on getting free coffee from Starbucks or free ice cream from Ben & Jerry's? I'd like to think people are voting because it's their duty as U.S. citizens, but, I guess, whatever works ... I am, by the way, going to Starbucks this afternoon for my free coffee (but I would have voted anyway!) :)

A good mommy weekend

I'll be the first to admit motherhood has been so hard for me. The last nine months since my daughter was born have been pretty tough. But this weekend I had a great time hanging out with Katherine. It was a much-needed reminder that she is a precious part of my life.

On Saturday, we ran to Wal-Mart and then stopped at the new Petco so Katherine could check out the birds and other creatures. Later that day, Clint and I took her to the Coastal Carolina Fair (in the South, fairs come late in the year so you don't die from summer heat and humidity). We walked all through the animal barn, with Katherine squealing at the sight of piglets, chickens and cows. She even had the chance to pet a rabbit. And by pet, I mean grab a fistful of fluffly fur and pull. (Eek! Don't think the bunny can win many prizes missing a clump of fur! Sorry to the nice man who tried to let a baby pet a rabbit.)

Even on Sunday, we went to church, took an afternoon walk through the neighborhood and just hung out. It was a quiet, fuss-free weekend.

I tried to soak it in so I could summon those memories on a day when Katherine is sick, teething or just in a general grumpy baby mood. Or maybe I'll think back to that trip to the fair when she gives me a 14-year-old, "Whatever, Mom! I'm going to the mall."

Boo!

Silver linings

OK, so I've found a couple benefits to having been laid off:
1) I lost 3 pounds.
2) I can run errands during the day when the stores aren't crowded.

Just trying to see the positives, folks!

Seriously?

Clemson University football coach Tommy Bowden was fired last week, but will get paid $3.5 million. And yet, thousands of people around the country don't have jobs and are in danger of losing their homes. I think we might have a problem with priorities in this country.

Tips for keeping your job

I just saw this article from the Wall Street Journal about how to figure out if you might be on the layoff list. Definitely I saw some of these five signs (cutbacks, work slows down) at my previous company, but truly didn't think I'd find myself packing up my family photos and personalized notepads.

Then I read the list of "Tips for keeping your job:"
- Make yourself irreplaceable.
- Be very clear about what your responsibilities are, and make sure you are meeting them.
- Pick up additional responsibilities.
- Make sure your supervisors and colleagues are aware of your capabilities.
- Continue to build your skills.
- Look for opportunities at your company and elsewhere.
- Don't seem paranoid or anxious.
- Keep working at your current output.

Hmmm, check, check, check, check, check, check, check and check.

I guess sometimes you just don't have any control of a situation.

When one door closes ...

When the CEO and vice president of your company call you in for a meeting at five minutes before 5 p.m. you have to know it's not good news. Yesterday, I was laid off from my job as an editor with a local business publication.

The company had been making several cutbacks in operational areas, and yesterday the cutbacks hit the staff. My position was eliminated, thus, I was eliminated. It was as if someone had punched me in the stomach.

I had been with the company longer than anyone in our editorial department. I'd tried to be a good and loyal employee, doing everything that was asked of me - and then some. But, I guess when you're competing with the bottom line, it always wins.

Now, I have to pull myself together and regroup. I'm trying very hard to believe this is part of some master plan God has for me. Still, it's tough. I may give myself a few days to mourn this chapter of my life, and then I'll try to figure out what's next. Maybe I can do some freelance work while I see what other opportunities are out there. I have a couple of book ideas I've been kicking around so maybe now's the time to work on those.

I guess I'll have to see what doors open for me.

The zooooooo!

This weekend we took Katherine to Riverbanks Zoo in Columbia. Clint and I love animal-themed attractions (zoos, Sea World), so we thought we'd start Katherine early. I think she had a good time, although at this age it's tough for her to really know what she's seeing. And the animals needed to be close and moving for her to zero in on them.

But she did get up close and personal with a giraffe, cow, goat, fish and llama. I suspect she thought most of those were just large dogs since she's used to seeing Belle and Mocha every day. But she seems to be a real animal lover and always enjoys an outing in the stoller.

Riverbanks Zoo was nice. It's not particularly large (although most zoos seem small after being to the San Diego Zoo), but had all the required zoo creatures and was just the right size for an almost-8-month-old and her parents.

Enjoy the photos ....



What is this thing?

Hard times all around

$700,000,000,000

That's a lot of zeros, federal government. Wish someone would bail me out when I make a stupid decision.

Often we look at what's going on in Washington or on Wall Street and it all seems so distant, so removed from our day-to-day lives. But I have to say this current financial crisis is really hitting home. Last week was tense at my office. Like pretty much all publications that exist on advertising, sales are down a bit and we're tightening our belts.

It's tough times all around. I feel fortunate to have a job when so many people are finding themselves in the unemployment lines.

What?!

OK, I know we all complain about this every year .... But, seriously, today Target had Christmas cards out in the aisle across from Halloween candy. What!?!?!?

Update

Sadly, Micah Crimmins passed away this morning. We can take comfort in knowing he is with Jesus.

Here's a piece of the e-mail his family sent out this morning: Micah would always say as I was heading out the door, ”Daddy, wait for me.” Well now, Micah, your earthly father is saying “Micah, please wait for me” because I too want so much to hold hands together again in our heavenly kingdom.

I just can't understand

Many months ago, I posted an entry about friends whose little boy has cancer. After much treatment his cancer was in remission. In fact, last fall the entire family visited us in Charleston and it was wonderful to see Micah running around and playing.

Sadly his cancer returned earlier this year. His parents opted to try experimental drug treatments this summer, but they didn't work. This week Micah has taken a turn for the worse and his parents are opting to discontinue treatments and simply make his final days comfortable.

When I read the e-mail with this news, I couldn't help but cry. It's devastating and my heart breaks for this family. Please keep them in your prayers. We can never begin to understand why something like this would happen. We can simply take solice in the fact that Micah will have a glorious time running and playing in heaven.

Back from Atlanta

Last week I attended the Society of Professional Journalists national convention in Atlanta. It was a great conference and is always wonderful to catch up with all my SPJ pals.

I have to give a BIG thanks to my hubby for doing full-time baby care while I was gone. Having done that a few times when he's gone on business trips, I know it can get a little tiring.

I feel incredibly fortunate to live in a time when men do housework and take care of the children. Fifty years ago I would not have been jetting off to a conference leaving my baby with my husband. Heck, I wouldn't have had a career so there wouldn't have even been a conference to attend!

So, thanks, Clint!

And, more on the SPJ convention soon ...

The right to vote

Today is Women's Equality Day, established in 1971 to commemorate the passing of the 19th Amendment in 1920, which gave women the right to vote.

The founder of Women's Equality Day was Bella Abzug, a lawyer, TV news commentator and member of the U.S. House of Representatives (first Jewish Congresswoman).

I found these great quotes from Bella:
* Women have been trained to speak softly and carry a lipstick. Those days are over.

* The test for whether or not you can hold a job should not be the arrangement of your chromosomes.

* We are coming down from our pedestal and up from the laundry room. We want an equal share in government and we mean to get it.

You go, Bella!

Most adorable child ever

I wanted to share these terrific photos of Katherine I had taken last week. Chris Smith is the photographer. I use him quite a bit for work projects and knew he would do a great job with Katherine's 6-month portraits - and he did. Truly, she is precious - and that is my completely objective Mommy opinion! ;-)

Daddy's Little Hacker

Last year Clint went to Las Vegas for the annual DEFCON convention -- basically a hacker conference. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to attend this year but a co-worker brought him a T-shirt and Kate a onesie. So, here are some pictures of "Daddy's Little Hacker." :)

Skywriting

Ten years ago this month I embarked on a major life change. Armed with a bachelor’s degree in journalism from Ohio University, a summer of experience at The Indianapolis Star and a serious sense of adventure, I packed up and moved to San Angelo, Texas. I worked as a reporter for the local newspaper and still count it as one of the best experiences of my life.

I find myself faced with a similar opportunity and can’t help but think, “That was then. This is now.”

I went to a job interview a couple of weeks ago in Fort Worth. I have the opportunity to be the editor of a new business publication in Denton County. It would be a sister publication of the Fort Worth Business Press. Long story short, the interview went well but I still felt conflicted and had a lingering question for the publisher about the kind of business publication they want to create. A follow-up e-mail seemed to confirm his commitment to a true business-to-business publication.

At this point, I’m about 90 percent ready to take it. I think that lingering 10 percent is fear. Fear outweighing any youthful sense of adventure. Oh, how the times have changed. Sure, 10 years ago I was afraid to move from Ohio to Texas. My grandparents helped me move and I’ll never forget that early Sunday morning when they pulled away from my apartment. I was struck by the thought that there went the only people in the city I knew and what if I had made a huge mistake moving here.

It wasn’t a mistake at all. And my sense of adventure took me on a wonderful ride. But I’m well past 22 years old when I could move across the country and had nothing to lose. I didn’t have a house to sell, a child, a husband. At that point, I didn’t even have a career. Life was fresh, new and full of potential.

I have lived in Charleston for eight years and have a comfortable life here. We have a nice home in a great location. We have good friends, a nice church and I have a good job. Why rock the boat?

Maybe for something even better.

This job sort of fell into my lap. And last week we found out that Clint’s company would like for him to stay on and just work from home in Fort Worth. How easy is that?

My friend Ronda and I always talk about how we wish God communicated in skywriting. Ronda says the way all this has fallen into place is skywriting. It could be I’ve been so wrapped up in the “what ifs” and “what might go wrong” that I haven’t looked up to see God’s skywriting.

I can’t help but think this is an awesome opportunity for me. I have the chance to build an entire business newspaper from scratch. Scary? Of course. An adventure? No doubt.

Could it be I’ve spent the last decade preparing for just this opportunity and now I’m going full circle back to the Lone Star state? The skywriting seems to say, “Yes.”

I'm ready for my book signing

This fall, I'll be published in a book. I'm so excited! OK, before you start asking if I'll be at your local Barnes & Noble signing copies, I should clarify that this is a textbook and I just contributed one chapter.

But still, I'm totally excited to see it in print. The book, "Understanding Media Convergence," is scheduled to be out in November. You can read more about it here. I love the review quote from another academic who says, "The text presents an impressive list of topics that are written by an impressive list of authors." I am totally going to consider myself among the "impressive list of authors."

One of my professors from graduate school at the University of South Carolina is one of the book's editors. I did an independent study with this professor and wrote a research paper titled "Developing Media Managers for Convergence: A Study of Management Theory and Practice for Managers of Converged Newsrooms" (it really doesn't get more academic sounding than that, does it?). The paper was picked up by the Association for Education in Journalism and Mass Communication, and I presented my work at the AEJMC conference in summer 2005.

So, Dr. Grant asked it he could use my work in his latest textbook. Of course, I agreed. It's nice to see your hard work do more than just collect dust on a shelf or take up space on your hard drive.

It's not like I haven't been published a zillion times in newspapers and magazines, but never in a textbook so this is very cool. I'll be sure to let you know when it comes out. And, if you decide to order a copy, do know I'd be happy to sign it. :)

Eight years ... really?

Today Clint and I marked our eighth anniversary. I can hardly believe it. So much has happened since we stood in the Nazarene church in San Angelo, Texas, and exchanged our wedding vows. As those vows predicted, we've had better, we've had worse and we've had true love and happiness.

I'm blessed to have a great husband who puts up with my occasional bouts of crazy and grumpy. We can laugh together over such silly things - jokes that only he and I would find funny. We share a history and a passion. Thanks, Clint, for being the love of my life.

Fighting heart disease

I've joined my company's team for the American Heart Association Heart Walk. If you'd like to support this important cause, check out my donation Web page. Thanks for your support! Your donation will help fight our nation’s No. 1 and No. 3 killers—heart disease and stroke.

Rollin' over

Look out, world! Katherine has learned to roll over. She tried for several days before actually getting her little body to turn over on July 7. Next, she'll be crawling, then pulling herself up and then walking - life as we know it will be over! I love this photo of her ... it's like she's thinking, "Well, I made it over - now what?"

Life updates

Work and life in general have been somewhat crushing lately, leaving me little time for blogging. And, when I do have a free minute on the computer, I somehow get sucked into my Facebook world. (See earlier post on Facebook addiction.)

I really appreciated all the great e-mails and comments I received with advice on making tough decisions. The decision has narrowed somewhat to take an opportunity I am interested in vs. do nothing.

At the beginning of August, I'm going to Fort Worth to check out a job as editor of a brand new business publication in Denton, which is north of Fort Worth for those of you who have never been in Texas (and how sad for you!). Denton was just listed as one of Money magazine's "Best Places to Live."

I really want to make sure this is the right job for me and would be a perfect fit. I have a good job and live in a nice city so if I'm going to make a move, it needs to be a tremendous opportunity for me professionally, personally and spiritually.

I'll let you know how the trip goes.

Let's face it, it's addictive

A few weeks ago, I created a Facebook page. It's cool because I found some old college friends I hadn't talked to in years. I now have 43 "friends" in my network.

The problem is Facebook can be kind of addictive. You can add all sorts of plugins and applications to your page. Plus, you can spend all kinds of time reading your friends' pages, writing on their walls, sending them messages and pieces of flair. Geez, I have a hard enough time keeping up with this blog, now I have another space on the World Wide Web to update.

If you can keep your Facebook time under control, though, it's a very cool social networking tool.

Next on my list of tech trends to explore: Twitter.

What to do?

I hate major, life-changing, career-impacting decisions. Without going into too many details at this stage, Clint and I are facing a big decision. He has an opportunity, I have an opportunity, and, of course, we always have the "do nothing" option.

It's tough.

I'm continually asking for God's guidance and hope to hear a response soon -- yes, no, call back later -- anything would do.

What's your advice for dealing with big decisions?

Hello, solid food

What exactly am I supposed to do with this stuff?

Yesterday, Katherine had her first foray into solid foods. By the way, why do they call it "solid" food when it's really runny, liquid-like food? Anyway, she sat in her new high chair and sampled some rice cereal.

Although a good amount ended up on the bib and her face, she did great. I personally adore cereal and could eat it for any meal and as a snack, so I have a suspicion Katherine feels the same way.

Happy Father's Day!

Last year for Clint's birthday I ordered this dress for our yet unborn baby girl. It seemed appropriate for Katherine to wear it on Clint's first Father's Day.

Happy Father's Day, sweetie! You're an awesome Daddy!

Worst Week Ever

I could go the rest of my life without another week like the one that just ended. My entire family has a stomach virus that settled on our house like the plague.

A week ago Saturday Katherine was vomiting and had some diarrhea. She’d just had her 4-month vaccinations so we thought it was a side effect of those. But Sunday afternoon, I was hit with some serious nausea. I went to bed early but woke up about 10:30 and ran for the bathroom. I spent the night and the better part of Monday hugging the toilet.

Clint started feeling yucky Monday afternoon and by Tuesday he was sick too. Even one of our dogs, Mocha, was throwing up. Had it not been so awful, it might have been comical.

We kept Katherine home from daycare on Tuesday because she still wasn’t feeling well either. We managed to drag ourselves to work on Wednesday. Probably a mistake because I felt worse on Thursday and missed work that day and Friday. That goodness we could send Katherine to daycare. I could barely get out of bed.

Katherine perked up on Friday, and Clint and I are just starting to feel better this weekend. We hope never to repeat such a hideous week.

I did learn a few things:
1. It’s awful when Mom and Dad both are sick because someone still has to feed the baby.
2. It would be great if a grandma lived nearby.
3. Nighttime daycare would be a blessing in situations like this.
4. It would be terrific if the dogs had opposable thumbs and could hold a baby bottle.
5. While you might think your body should work in your favor, your stomach can turn on you at any minute. Sort of like when a tame tiger eats its master.

Book recommendations

One of my favorite authors is Rick Bragg, a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist, former New York Times reporter and now a professor at the University of Alabama. Last spring, I had the chance to meet him when he came to the Society of Professional Journalists spring conference at the University of Florida. He spoke about storytelling and his experiences as a journalist and writer.

Bragg's ability to paint a picture, tell a story and craft a phrase is remarkable. If you haven't read his first book, "All Over But the Shoutin'," I highly recommend it. It's an autobiography of his life growing up in rural Alabama.

His latest work is "The Prince of Frogtown," another book about his family. This one focuses on his father and Bragg's relationship with his stepson. I'm just a few chapters into it, but so far, it's great. I also used a collection of his newspaper stories when teaching at the College of Charleston last fall. The students really enjoyed it.

Bragg did a book signing last week at a bookstore here in Charleston, so I took my family and went. Plus, I wanted to catch up with him about possibly speaking at the SPJ national convention in September in Atlanta. He is always so gracious and kind. He spent plenty of time answering questions, signing books and was genuinely interested in what people had to say.

If you're looking for some good summer reads, check out Bragg's books. And, here's a link to his book tour schedule.

Happy Mother's Day!

An empty nest

I knew this day was coming. I was dreading it. I feel a sense of sadness mingled with pride and admiration.

My baby birds are gone.

Yesterday morning two of them were toddling on the edge of the nest. I could see them contemplating if this was the day to spread their wings. Apparently their third sibling had an independent streak because he or she was already gone. Clint said they would be leaving that day. I secretly hoped they would stay – just a few more days. I’d so enjoyed our time together, peering through the windows to catch a glimpse of their tiny heads and hungry beaks.

By the afternoon, they had ventured from the nest and were perched amid the Confederate Jasmine on the front porch. You had to look hard to even see them. They were probably thinking, “OK, we made it this far. I think we can do it. I think we can fly.” (I thought it was neat how they stuck together, giving each other moral support.)

In the time it took me to go upstairs and put in a load of laundry, they were gone.

I couldn’t help but note the irony: the birds had left the day before Mother’s Day. I wondered if the mother bird was sitting in a tree top watching her babies take flight and feeling proud of the job she had done. She had perfectly fulfilled the role nature had for her as a mother. Would I do the same with my daughter?

Just as my little birds flew away while I was loading laundry, I have no doubt one minute I’ll be loading the washer with tiny socks and bibs and in the next instant washing armloads of clothing dropped on the laundry room floor during a visit home from college.

What matters is what I do in those moments between. The responsibility of parenthood has not been lost on me these last three months. It is an awesome task, one to be cherished, celebrated and feared.

Clint and I often study Katherine, as I’m sure most parents do, and wonder where life will take her. Will she be a doctor, an artist, a politician, a writer, a lawyer, an engineer, a chemist? We’ll do our very best to mold her into the best person we can. In fact,our job isn’t so different from that mother bird’s: to nurture our children, teach them how to fly and then step aside.

Improve or escape?

Yesterday my friend Shelia called posing a tricky Mother's Day question. When it comes to Mother's Day gifts, which is better: a gift that lets you escape motherhood (spa, manicure, passport and plane ticket to another country) or a gift that makes life as a mom easier (cleaning service, closet organizers, wife)?

My first instinct was to say "escape!" I mean, what new mommy doesn't need a break?

Shelia said she was on the fence about this one. After some more discussion and thought, I see this is a tough one. Certainly, items that make the job of Mom a little easier are great. In fact, I already have a lawn service and get my meals from Dream Dinners. I'm kicking around the idea of having someone clean my house a couple times a month. I'm actually trying to eliminate all domestic duties from my life, so any gift that furthers that goal is perfect.

But, on the other hand, a break from motherhood certainly benefits a Mom's sanity.

Seems to me the only solution is two gifts! Share your thoughts ...

Baby bird update

My baby birds are growing fast. I finally discoverd there are indeed three birds in the nest. I have no idea how they all fit. I managed to snap this new photo. One downside to having a bird nest on your porch - lots of bird poo.

Kate is 3 months old

Hard to believe Katherine turned 3 months old last Friday. She is really growing and doing a great job of holding up her head. See more pictures here.

My own animal planet

Our front porch is covered with Confederate Jasmine - the perfect place for a bird's nest.

A few weeks ago we noticed a mother bird had built a small nest in the Jasmine growing on the column next to our front door. I have been monitoring the progress each day.

Last weekend, while working in the yard, I grabbed the step ladder and climbed up to peer into the nest. Baby birds!

This weekend they are big enough to pop their fuzzy little heads (I think there are two) out of the nest. I managed to capture this picture. It's not too clear but you can tell we have a bird family living at our house.

I really hope I'm home when they attempt to leave the nest.

Birthday celebration

Here we are at my birthday dinner -- my first birthday as a Mom!

40 - it's just out there!

Well, here I am: turning a ripe ol' 32 years old today. I was trying to let this one slide by quietly but have to admit I do appreciate all the warm wishes and my fabulous family and friends. My dear friend Tiffany posted such a sweet item about me on her blog.

Yes, I'll be 40 in a mere eight years, but I have to acknowledge all the wonderful things in my life and feel I have accomplished a great deal in my 32 years. Who knows where I'll be or what I'll be doing when I hit the big 4-0 but I feel certain I'll be counting my many blessings.

'Working' from home

People who work from home must fib about the amount of work they actually accomplish. About four years ago, I spent a few months doing freelance work before going to graduate school and taking a part-time job with my current employer. I hated working from home. I was too easily distracted – dishes, laundry, surfing the net with no chance of anyone walking up behind me, a magazine, an episode of Murder She Wrote.

I could be lured away from the computer by just about anything. I quickly decided I needed to physically go to an office outside my home where other people were working alongside me.

Four years later, things have not improved and now I have a major – and legitimate – distraction in a 9-week-old baby.

Because my company doesn’t offer paid maternity leave, I needed to start back to work when Kate was 6 weeks old. So for two weeks, I “worked” from home. Last week, I was scheduled to head back to my office where I could actually work through a full day without having to stop and change a diaper. After three days in the office, Clint was called away to San Diego for a business trip. He was scheduled to stay home all week with Kate because she can’t get into the daycare center until April 14.

This week, Clint and I planned to trade off stay-at-home duties Monday through Wednesday until my mom arrived to keep Kate on Thursday and Friday. Well, Clint’s trip to the West Coast sort of through a monkey wrench in our carefully laid plans.

Now, I’m back working from home until Thursday. A typical day goes something like this:

9:30 p.m. Put Katherine to bed
4 a.m. Katherine wakes up to eat. Change diaper, feed Katherine
4:45 a.m. Put Katherine back to bed
4:47 a.m. Consider heading to the computer to get some work done before she wakes up again in a few hours.
4:47:30 a.m. Crawl back into bed … for a just a few more minutes.
7:30 a.m. Katherine wakes up to eat. (See how easily a few minutes can turn into hours.) Change diaper.
7:30 – 9:30 a.m. Feed Katherine, bathe and/or dress Katherine, attempt to eat some yogurt and brew some coffee while juggling baby in one hand. Take super fast shower while Katherine is occupied in her bed with some toys. Put makeup on and dry hair in record time (although these are optional if day doesn’t require leaving the house).
9:36 a.m. Put Katherine on toy mat, grab coffee and sit down at computer.
9:37 – 10:18 a.m. Work
10:18 a.m. Katherine fusses. Pick her up, maybe read her a story or walk around for a few minutes.
10:25 a.m. Put Katherine in swing next to desk.
10:25 – 11:15 a.m. Work
11:15 a.m. Katherine is ready to eat.
11:20 – Noon Feed Katherine
Noon – 1 p.m. Eat some lunch and watch TV. Clean out bottles, throw in a load of laundry. Check on dogs or let them out to use the bathroom.
1 p.m. Pick Katherine up and head back to office and toy mat. Katherine spits up and covers herself and me with a milky mess. Change clothes. More laundry.
1:15 p.m. Work while Katherine naps (yeah!)
2 p.m. Check laundry
3 p.m. Katherine starts to fuss. Read Katherine some stories and sing her a song. Try to check e-mail before time for a feeding.
4 p.m. Change diaper. Feed Katherine. May as well see who’s on Oprah today.
5 p.m. Feed dogs. Check work e-mail and catch up on a few things.
6:30 p.m. Eat some dinner (most likely cereal).
7 p.m. Change diaper. Feed Katherine. More laundry.
10 p.m. Change diaper. Feed Katherine and then put her to bed.
Start all over again.

OK, that’s not exactly how my day goes but it’s awfully close and gives you a good idea of how tough it is to work from home with a zillion distractions. Not to mention, it’s draining to be the constant caregiver with no husband to share the duties. Just wait until he gets home. I may get called off on a trip too.

So sweet

I couldn't resist posting this photo of Katherine. She was dressed up and ready for church this morning.

A newborn's conversation with God

I received several encouraging e-mails after my post “Could I really be someone’s mother?" It’s comforting to know lots of moms feel unsure and nervous about motherhood.

One friend sent me the following poem and I found it particularly touching. It’s important to remember God sends us our children. He has a plan for their lives and it includes us as their parents. For some reason, God gave me Katherine. He has a great plan for her life and needs me to be her mother and help her fulfill that plan.

A newborn's conversation with God

A baby asked God, 'They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?' God said, 'Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you.'

The child further inquired, 'But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy.' God said, 'Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy.'

Again the child asked, 'And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?' God said, 'Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.'

'And what am I going to do when I want to talk to yo u?' God said, 'Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.'

'Who will protect me?' God said, 'Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.'

'But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.' God said, 'Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you.'

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, 'God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name.'

God said, 'You will simply call her, 'Mom.'

Snow in Ohio

Katherine and I spent two weeks visiting my family in Ohio. To my delight, it snowed about 3 inches one day. It was just enough snow to be pretty and for sledding down the driveway! And Katherine had a chance to wear her pink snowsuit.

Could I really be someone's mother?

Motherhood is by far the most difficult of life’s transitions. All other events in my life – the ones I thought were huge – pale in comparison: two college degrees, moving across the country, getting married, buying houses. None of these events have taken such a toll on me as realizing I’m someone’s mother.

Some women just seem to fall naturally into being a mom. They barely seem to flinch when it comes to taking care of a baby. Sure, some women probably put on a good show but I truly believe there are a group of women for whom motherhood is a calling. You know those women who have dreamed of having a baby since they were little girls playing with dolls. You know the moms who change diapers and wipe dirty faces without so much as a second thought.

I haven’t quite hit that stage just yet. And the jury is still out on whether I ever will. I have a beautiful baby girl. I was there to hear her first cries. I know she’s mine but I can’t help but feel as if I’m babysitting. Could I really be someone’s mother?

I’ve never been particularly domestic. I’m not a very good cook. I don’t do anything that requires a needle and thread. I’m not overly fond of cleaning (although I like a clean house). Let’s just say, June Cleaver I am not. So staying home all day with a baby has been tough for me. I just don’t see myself as a stay-at-home mom.

Next week I go back to the office and feel I’m ready. I’ve invested years of energy into my career and just can’t abandon it. In many ways, it was my first child. I’m hoping all goes well as I return to work and Katherine enters daycare in a couple of weeks. Will I feel some guilt for not being there for every moment of her early life? I’m sure I will. But would I feel even more guilt for not following what I believe is the best motherhood path for me? One of my friends says she believes she is a better mother because she works. I think it’s important for us to recognize our strengths and our weaknesses. Can I be a good mom and a working mom? I’ll certainly try my best.

These early weeks of being a mom haven’t come easily for me. They have been filled with doubts, questions and tears. But a little smile from my daughter helps – at least for a moment – ease some of the doubts and brush away a few tears.

Welcome, Katherine

OK, I haven't blogged in a few weeks but I have a good reason. On Feb. 2, we welcomed Katherine Grace Fisher into the world. Weighing in at 8 pounds and 1 ounce and stretching 20 inches, she was born at 11:01 a.m. She surprised Clint and I by having a full head of dark brown hair.

I went into labor at 5 a.m. that morning and we arrived at the hospital at about 6:30 a.m. Clint asked if he could stop for Starbucks on the way. I gave him a dirty look between blinding contractions.

At about 10 a.m., the doctor decided she was feeling a behind and not a head, which meant I was immediately prepped for a C-section. I was awake for the surgery, although couldn't see anything behind the curtain (not that I really wanted to, thank you very much) and Clint was sitting by my head. Within 10 minutes, we heard our baby's first cries.



Clint was able to watch Katherine get weighed and held her in the nursey while I was stitched up. While in the recovery room, I held my daughter for the first time. We continued to marvel over her hair and how big she was. Clint was absolutely beaming.

The rest of the day is a bit of a Percoset-induced haze for me. Lots of my family came from Ohio and friends stopped by over the next few days.

The last three weeks have been an incredible adjustment. I've found motherhood is one tough job, making my daily work in journalism seem like a breeze.

Katherine grows and changes each day. She's quite active and really alert for a such a little person. Of course, that means she's going to be a genius.

Katherine has her own Web site, which Daddy plans to update soon.

The love of a good dog

I’ve been wondering if Mocha and Belle can sense their lives are about to be seriously disrupted by a new human sister.

Having the two foster dogs for a few months may have been good practice for them. (Side note: The two foster dogs had to go other foster homes since I couldn’t possibly conceive of having four dogs, a newborn and family in from out of town all at once.)

I let the girls go in the nursery and sniff around. No doubt they will sniff the baby from head to toe several times just to make sure she’s an acceptable new pack member.

We also made sure we invested in a diaper device that seals the dirty diapers in a closed up can. Belle has a tendency to explore the trash and may find, as only a dog can, dirty diapers ever so appealing.

So in honor of Mocha and Belle – soon to be protecting their newest pack member – here’s a nice take on dogs that someone forwarded me a in an e-mail some time back.

If I Didn’t Have Pets:
• I could walk around the yard barefoot in safety.
• All flat surfaces, clothing, furniture, and cars would be free of hair.
• When the doorbell rings, it wouldn't sound like the kennels.
• When the doorbell rings, I could get to the door without wading through fuzzy bodies who beat me there.
• I would not have strange presents under my Christmas tree -- dog bones, stuffed animals, nor would I have to answer to people why I wrap them.
• The most used words in my vocabulary would not be: out, sit, down, come, no, stay, and leave him/her/it ALONE.
• My pockets would not contain things like poop bags, treats and an extra leash.
• I would no longer have to spell the words B-A-L-L-, F-R-I-S-B-E-E, or W-A-L-K.
• I would not have as many leaves INSIDE my house as outside.
• I would not look strangely at people who think having ONE dog ties them down too much.
• I would not have to answer the question:: "Why do you have so many dogs/animals?" from people who will never have the joy in their lives of knowing they are loved unconditionally by something as close to an angel as they will ever get.

Look at what I've done for you

We’re down to the final two weeks. Now, it’s just a waiting game, which is incredibly unnerving for someone like me who thrives on planning and structure. But unfortunately, babies don’t really give any hints as to when they might like to make their grand entrance.

I have been thinking about some of the things I’ve given up during my pregnancy. I thought it might be nice to compile a list, giving me something to pull out when my daughter is, say 8 years old and won’t clean her room, or is 16 and tries to back talk. I can pull these out of the mom guilt closet:

• I cut back on caffeine, going to Starbucks only once a week or less.
• My exercise routine went downhill in a big way because I either felt too ill, tired or fat to do anything.
• I gained 30 pounds.
• I stopped wearing high heels. I’m the person who sacrifices comfort for style and is drawn to the highest heels I can find. This was a biggie.
• I scaled back on some extracurricular activities and volunteer work.
• I traded in normal clothes for a limited wardrobe of elastic-waist pants and unexciting tops.
• I shed a lot of tears worrying about whether I’ll be a good mother.
•I didn’t eat hotdogs or blue cheese salad dressing for months.

I think that’s a good starting point. Surely some of those will inspire a child to clean her room or whip a teenager into shape. Well, at least I can try.

Stick a fork in me

With about three weeks to go until my Feb. 6 due date, I'm officially done with being pregnant.

The last few weeks, in particular, have been, well, miserable. My stomach feels like a 100-pound lead weight, my back hurts, I have indigestion when I eat, I pee every two hours (or less) and I can't possibly get comfortable enough to get a decent night's sleep.

This baby should feel free to arrive anytime. I'm ready. I realize after she arrives, I'll still be a physical mess and my lack of sleep won't be due to frequent bathroom trips but to frequent feedings and diaper changes. But, at least it will be a new stage of discomfort.

After months of planning, worrying, stressing, shopping and preparing for her arrival, I'm just ready for the big day. This last month is definitely tough. I'm beginning to seriously question the sanity of women who choose to go through this multiple times. Their minds must just block out the misery and choose instead to focus on the joys of parenthood.