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He had made everything beautiful in its time. Ecclesiastes 3:11
On my recent post “What if?” reader Julie posted a comment and a question that has been on my mind almost daily:
I love the idea of new dreams; it's retiring the old ones that really challenge me. I have such a hard time letting go and leaving behind those things that are such a part of me. Any suggestions on really letting go?
Don’t think I’ve been ignoring your question, Julie, it’s just that I have been trying to think of a really great answer. I keep coming back to this idea of really letting go and I’m not sure it’s possible to truly let go of the dreams, as Julie puts it, “that are such a part of me.”
Sometimes our dreams just change with time or they simply fade away as new dreams consume our focus. In college, I dreamed of being an overseas correspondent, working as a reporter in a Spanish-speaking country. With time that dream was replaced with a new dream of being a political reporter, eventually covering state or federal government. At some point along the way, life intervened and that dream sort of just faded into my memory.
And some dreams are just plain fun and border on completely unrealistic. I dream of being a country music star. Crazy and most likely impossible? Definitely. But that doesn’t keep me from dreaming about singing a duet with George Strait.
Seriously, though, I think the longer we’ve had a dream the harder it is to let go. It has become a part of who we are and it’s difficult to simply cast that dream aside. And, quite frankly I’m not sure we should. It would be like denying a part of ourselves.
If we reach a point where it is time to retire a dream, I think the best thing to do is file it away. Don’t deny it. Don’t forget all about it. Don’t pretend it never existed. Tuck it away in that corner of your mind where fond memories live. It’s still there, waiting for you to pull it out one day and “remember when.”
Then fill your focus with a new dream, one that is attainable but that stretches you; a dream that both fits with your current circumstances, but also forces you to look to the future.
When people retire from a life-long career, they don’t dismiss that career and pretend it never existed. Instead they talk about that career with fondness while pursuing new goals and aspirations.
That’s the approach we can take with our “retired” dreams. Give them their due, but let the new dreams take center stage.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this process of retiring dreams. Please post a comment. And, Julie, hope that helps!
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2 comments:
For the most part, I feel like life has taken me where I needed to go all along the way. I never ever thought I would work in PR, in fact I never even had a good understanding of what that really was in college, as it was only a minor component of my major. But here I am. Life led me here.
And I love it. When I think back, I was always a good writer and so it's a natural fit. Social media is really my passion, but how could I ever have dreamed of doing that because it didn't even exist until a few years ago? Again, I got here because life led me here.
Now, all that said, there is one dream I had that I never got to fulfill: being a dancer. I loved dancing and always wanted to give it a shot in NYC, but never did. But realistically, I didn't have the whole package of singing and acting to go with it, so it probably would never have happened anyway. But still, I do kind of regret not giving it a go.
But, as you said, I'll file it away and remember the good times I had dancing and hope maybe it plays out in some other way down the road. I'll let life lead me there.. :)
I've been thinking about dreams a great deal, because I'm older and you tend to think about what to carry and what to set down along the way. But I haven't decided to let some of them go. Instead, I've prayed that if this was a dream that God gave me, He'd go before me and help bring it into reality. That's not always the case, sometimes you just have to get up and do it. Sometimes, He expects you to take up your mat and walk, so to speak.
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